tantrums and i miss you.

after a really looooooooooong day at work, S had a new phase that i was at loss how to deal.

i am the one who usually gives S a bath before bedtime (she's already done eating her supper when i get home) and she was really into this spray sanitizer (its not a toy, it was something she picked up from my bag). she was shaking it while walking around the house. i had to take it away because it was already time for her bath - i explained why i had to take it away. and she cried, no, WAILED. i thought bath time (because she always love bath time!) would comfort her but no, she just cried and cried and cried. i didn't want to give back the "toy" because that will make her think that crying will make us give in into  her demands. she sat in her tub and just cried her heart out. she refused to stand and wailed when i tried to soap her. bath time was cut short. and she was still crying to her heart's content. and what baffled me the most was, SHE REFUSED TO BE CARRIED, BY ME! i was like, i'm her mommy, why won't she let me comfort her? i was on the verge of tears already. she just wanted to lie in bed and cry. i had to let her have her way. i just sat beside the bed and watched her, while tears were already streaming from my face. after a few minutes (which felt like an hour), she climbed to me and cried and asked for milk (S knows baby signing) so i gave her a bottle. after her milk, she turned away from me and wanted to lie down in her pillow. and she was just hugging her comfort cloth. so i lied beside her and sang. she didn't move for a while - just tugging at her comfort cloth. i tried to make her laugh, thankfully, she did. that was heavenly for me. and she slowly drifted to sleep.

that night, i cried again. what was that? was it a tantrum? oh my. i was totally not ready for it. the incident made me realize that i am so engrossed with work that i have forgotten to spend time - quality time with S. and i was filled with guilt again. i really have to do something about this. i messaged a really good mommy friend of mine and thankfully she listened to my woes. i am really grateful A :)

and now, i really miss my husband. Y goes out of town for long periods, but this time, i am really sad that he is away. plus the fact that S acted out her tantrum w/o him, i guess it was one of the reason why i was so emotional about it. i always get teary eyed while i talk to him on phone or everytime he texts me. he will be home next week and days seem to be dragging. *sigh*

i am so sorry that my posts lately are wet blankets. in fact, i think i will be away from blogging for a month. i have listed a number of posts that i really have to do because of commitments (i'm really looking forward to the thing im cooking up for mothers day) but other than that, i will take a pause from blogging.

thankfully, its the weekend. S and i will be inseparable tomorrow. hope you have a good & blessed weekend everyone!

crazy week and ended craziest.

this week (starting last thursday) has been really terrible. i always thought that working on this job for 7 years has toughened me but i was totally wrong. i guess annoying "challenges" come with the territory. but what bothered me the most was, i was totally affected that i broke down and cried (and cried some more when i got home) about it. the feeling of disappointment in myself was so intense, i was at loss  how to handle it. i was beyond furious with myself. i felt i was bullied into something that i never wanted to do - i was FORCED to be part of a kind of rotten system that we preach to be against for but well, remain to be words.

and then, another kind of crazy "challenge" came up. i am exasperated!

and now, this ban thing is just plain.........oh dear me, i have no words. i will miss chinie's blog the most. i will not be surprised that blogs will be the next target. but seriously, this is terrible! it is possible that half of the world is already bombed away and we - in our cozy, unconnected (of course, except for...) world - is unaware. we are one big PBB. (pfft!) can anybody tell me if twitter really eats up bandwidth that much? oh well, its a crazy world. i am not going to be sucked into it.

Sweet Treats from Pink Apron (and a GIVEAWAY!)

one thing i can never refuse is TO EAT SOMETHING SWEET. and that's one reason i got into trouble when i was pregnant: a lot of people commented i was too big because i was eating too much cake and ice cream. but you know, the sweet tooth in me just brushed them off and ate my heart out!

and now you understand why i can never say NO to this. because my dear readers, Pink Apron is ALL about fulfilling that sweet cravings - whether you are a mom, pregnant or just plain hungry.

Iah (but i call her Maan because she was introduced to me as Maan and i am also stubborn that way, hehe), is the mommy behind the popular Pink Apron. i invited her for a collab in my blog and i am truly grateful she agreed and to top that, she gave me sample cupcakes to taste. again, i will not say NO to that :)

Iah/Maan shared that when she graduated from Center for Asian Culinary Studies (CACS), she realized that she wanted to bake more than cook. so after getting married, she started to bake for her family and gave a lot of samples to friends to gather feedback about the taste of her cupcakes. however, in the middle of gaining ground for her cupcake business, she found out about her pregnancy. she had to temporarily stop, not because she was in critical shape, but because baking makes her want to vomit! she actually have to keep all of her baking stuff away because just seeing them makes her cringe and run to the bathroom. around february this year, she went back to her love for baking and opened Pink Apron again. and orders for her sweets increased to the point that she had to decline some requests because she does not want to compromise her quality over quantity!

you know what, i realized photos at this point, are going to be very helpful. ha ha.

PINK APRON have an array of goodies that you can enjoy: Red Velvet Cupcakes, Chocolate Cupcakes, Butter Cupcakes and her latest addition....
Chocolate Crinkles!!!!
Pink Apron also makes lovely occasion cakes and Maan/Iah shared that she also took courses on cake and cake decorating since there were already requests for her to bake cakes.
now you tell me if you are not yet craving for everything you've seen! for your inquiries and orders, you may contact:

Iah (or Maan if you are like me, hahaha!)
FB: Pink Apron
Contact Number:(+63) 917-703-4511

and the sweetness does not end there! Pink Apron is giving away one (1) box of sweet treats for one of my readers!!!! how i wish i can join my own giveaway, waaaah! (laughs)
1) Giveaway is open to Davao residents only. However, anyone can join and give it to somebody they know who reside in Davao City :)
2) Contest will run from April 23 - 26, 2013. Winner will be announced at our FB page (mine and Pink Apron). Winner will be given until April 30, 4PM to claim their prize.

How to Join:
1) Like Pink Apron at Facebook.
2) Like Missus on the Block at Facebook.
3) Additional entries will be: follow me at Twitter and tweet about the giveaway!
4) Please enter your entries in the Rafflecopter gadget to confirm it.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank You and Good Luck!

overwhelming indeed.

my Guest Moms on the Block series turned out to be a hit! i never cared about stats but you cannot believe how much readers i get everytime i feature one. i just wanted to give my mommy friends a place to share their stories, the joys that motherhood has given them and how it changed their lives and every other little thing. it does not even have a structure, no themes, no specific advocacy. i just ask them questions and they answer and if they share more, i share it too, with their permission. i did this with in my mind that moms are celebrities in their own way and they deserve a feature! in short, its just about celebrating moms and the m-hood! and now, i have so many moms i want to feature, i feel like one mom a month is not enough! but my time schedule can only allow me to do it once a month. oh well. there's a time for everything.

i just want to take this time to thank you all for taking time to read my blog. i know my blog really needs a lot of improvement (especially with my posts, they have to be timely, hahahaha!) but i'm heading there slowly. for now, my ultimate dream is get my own domain. thank you Lord for my own domain! (yes, i will claim it!)

thank Ianne, Ella, Nadine and coming soon, A (blind item muna, hahaha!) :) and to all moms whom i will still message and invite (i really need a month to arrange everything..), thank you for sharing a part of you with me. naks! :)

for those who want to do sponsorship, partnerships, PSA and the stuff, please check my Work with Me page for details. i am looking forward to work with you too! :)

Happy Birthday to my Papa!

it's my father's 60th birthday today. yes, he has officially received another citizenship (i got this joke from my fellow workshop participants in manila). haha. and since it's a milestone birthday, of course it deserves a post!

now that i think about it, i think my papa has a lot of different personalities.

when i was a little girl, i was his favorite because i was the only girl (and then after 12 years, my sister was born so i was actually relieved to be freed from too much attention of being the girl in the family, hehehe..). but despite that, i was not spoiled. in fact, i got spanked as much as i can remember.

when i was a teenager, my papa was strict. he would rarely say something about our antics, but he had the last say in things. so it's not a surprise that i was not allowed to go out and party after our prom (he just gave in during senior year when the dad of my bestfriend talked to him, so you can see they were actually talking about things eye to eye, hi hi hi..), nor i was allowed to join sleepovers, go home late and a lot of things that a father would get paranoid about.

papa mellowed a lot in college. and i am proud to say that maybe i have proven that i can be trusted.

i do not say a lot of things to my papa because he is a quiet man when it comes to things, especially emotions, but he has always been always there for me, for us. he would always be willing to drive us to the airport when our flights were at dawn. he would always be willing to drive my mom and our helper to our house every time we had yaya troubles and he would always wait for me and drive me to my workplace to lessen my tardiness (still late though, ha ha). he willingly paid for my birthday celebration, even as i was already an adult. (hehe.) he is willing to shoulder S's lechon in every occasion.

my papa is not a perfect man, in fact, i can also tell a lot about his faults, but you know what, i decided i don't care. because he is my papa, and i will not the woman/wife and mother i am now without him. when they say that motherhood makes you appreciate your mom more, i think it's the same with our fathers. my papa made me appreciate my husband as a father.

so to the man who loved me first, Happy Birthday Papa! God will bless you always. i will always pray for your good health. help us teach S to be a great woman :)

Saree Turns 1!

i've decided to split S's birthday post because i have so much to talk about (laughs), and the more things i want to talk about, the longer it gets to post. so it's better this way.

we celebrated S's first birthday! we chose to celebrate it with our families and other friends. it was a very happy occasion (although a bit stressful because of careless suppliers - will talk about it in another post) and we really believe that S enjoyed it very much! and that's the most important thing for me and Y :) i'll just let the photos do the talking...
the birthday celebrant with her grandparents and aunts (before the party started)
writing a party name tag for Ate Mie Ann, who happens to be the Most Cooperative and Most Behaved Guest of Saree...now that i think about it, i should have prepared a prize for her. hehe.
S trying french fries for the first time! i think she does not like it. YET. hahaha!
Birthday girl S (busily munching on her fries to look at the camera) with her Tita Mavin..thank you tita mavin for helping out Mommy with the birthday preps! till next year! :)
the kids enjoying the party. now, i'm sure you noticed that there are few kids and it's one lesson i learned from S's birthday: INVITE A LOT OF KIDS, around 30-35! our invitation said 10:30 but we started at around 11:45, and we had to start with the lunch first because there was no kids! i invited 20 and only 14 of them arrived, 10 of them are only old enough to actually play (because they can understand the rules) and there were around 2 kids who does not like playing in kiddie parties (weird but true!).

yeah, i broke my own record.

when i said "top that" last week, i never thought i would be the one to actually top it. *sigh*

our new yaya (the one that came after the 5-day yaya), lasted for only.............2 DAYS! i'm not going to post any challenge of beating it because i'm starting to think there's a jinx in that (and i never believe in those things!).

Yaya J arrived last wednesday afternoon (apr 10). since i was at work, it was my mom who did the initial orientation about how to take care of S. so my mom kind of let her watch S late in the afternoon and S got into a little accident. it was not entirely the yaya's fault - S lost her balance while cruising in her play mat, but Yaya J was beside her - she could have caught her to prevent her from bumping into the chair. S got a visible scratch in her ear for that. so my mom was already uneasy about her. personally, since it's the lola who witnessed the accident, she was very touchy about the carelessness. but that does not mean i am taking the fall lightly. S is in the initial walking stage, so it's normal for her to fall or stumble BUT S NEVER HAD A SCRATCH. that night, i talked to her on how i want S to be taken care of. but no hands-on because S was already asleep. but deep inside, my mother's instinct was kicking in. i do not feel confident leaving S with her, not because of the accident, but because of her age. she is still 14 years old! so young to be in charge of a energetic 1 year old.

my current playlist, part 1

i'm taking a pause from posting mommy related stuff and allow me to share what songs i'm currently listening to. i thought that my love for listening to music (and include collecting) will be gone once i become a mom (because i thought i'll be stuck with nursery rhymes and the likes) but in fact, it's one of my ME-time. i would listen to my songs every time i'm on the road and i'll be relaxed and ready to tackle work and mommy duties. however, you have to know what i am very particular about music. if i hear a certain song over and over again, i usually dislike it after. that is why i have no permanent playlist. so probably i will make a new post about the songs i listen to after 2 months. hahaha. it is another reason why i prefer songs that will never lose it appeal to me after a few years. say it came out 2012, but i will still find it enjoyable after 10 years. that's why i love listening to oldies. never fails. also, i like songs whoever the artist is. so there's a possibility that i like a certain song but dislike the artist. concrete example would be: taylor swift. (apologies to the fans)..and third, i am very particular about lyrics. so obviously, songs with dumb meanings and shallow stuff never make the cut.

i'll include a link to all the songs so that you can check them out too.

As It Seems - Lily Kershaw
i collect soundtracks and i came upon this song because of Criminal Minds. i've always been a fan of soundtracks. most of the songs i played on my wedding were soundtracks. i don't know why but for me, a song becomes more good to listen if a memory is attached to it. be it personal or from a specific movie.

The Script - Breakeven, Hall of Fame and If You Ever Come Back
i first came upon the band through Ghost Whisperer, when they played their popular song "the man who can't be moved" (and i've grown tired of it when it became a staple song among emo people) ........i did not pursue listening to them not until Danny (lead vocals) became one of the coach in the voice uk (i'm a huge fan of the voice). i realized they have pretty good songs. and probably because of the voice, the song Hall of Fame happened. it's becoming the thing among artists nowadays.

Corregidor Island

last march, i went to manila to attend a workshop. part of our itinerary after the meeting was a tour at corregidor island. i almost missed this because of separation anxiety but thankfully, the "dora" in me rose above the occasion, hahaha. it was really awesome!!!

as you all know, Corregidor Island is a very important historical site of our country, especially during WWII. i'm not going to go through it because you can actually read it here. (thanks, wiki!) it felt so surreal to be able to finally see it. i'm not a travel blogger so this post is pretty much disorganized. and since we had somebody else do the legwork of our trip, i do not have the complete list of rates or anything.

we left our hotel (which is a funny story in itself but is not related to this, so scrap that) and went to the ferry dock (at CCP, Roxas Blvd.) at 6 in the morning.
the ferry was impressive, for me that is. seating is organized because it's assigned. we were seated at the lower deck so NICE VIEW IS ACTUALLY ZERO (proof of this is this photo). it was terrible for someone who is used to the sea air of samal island. hehe. but it's airconditioned, so you get to sleep...OR, one can drown in all tourism related AV as you can see here. well, i slept. LOL. it's a one hour ride from the dock to the island. initially, i was worried about sea-sickness but the ferry moves smooth, so i was worried about nothing. 
note to readers though...i am a bit lazy when it comes to taking photos. i've been used to having designated photographers in all trips that doing it on my own was really difficult. so i was a bit selective about the places i had my shots taken.

upon arriving, all tourists have a designated bus that will take them around the island. each tour is actually assigned different areas to start with so that all tourists do not cram in one location. our first stop was Malinta Tunnel. there's a light and sound show inside, which presented the important events that took place inside the tunnel. my honest opinion is this...i think it would have been better if it's opened like a museum. as i observed, the group i was with (there were 2 buses assigned that time so around 50+ people) were barely listening to the voice-over. the tourists were more keen on tourist things: taking photos. i'm a reader so i guess it would have been nice to leisurely go over the specific areas of the tunnels and read the events myself. i love history but i was not able to enjoy it under the tunnel. to sum it, i liked the visit to the tunnel despite the fact that i did not get to truly enjoy it. it was not exactly "creepy" but the area really gives off the aura of being an important piece in our history.
Malinta Tunnel, Corregidor Island, March 2013

the group i was with..it really bummed me that the name of Malinta Tunnel was not included in the frame. oh well..

fever, fever go away!

S got a runny nose the day after her birthday. must be the really nasty heat and being in and out between hot and cold atmos, i said (and majority of the people concluded the same). i didn't give her meds because my hubby and i take meds as LAST resort. so we just gave her lots of fluids, fruits and fed her veggies. i did not worry too much because despite the runny nose, S is still the same energetic ball. and i raised this decision with my pedia the last time we saw her (apr 6) and she did not object.

then yesterday, she got fever in the morning. and at 38.3 degrees. i was now worried but not an alarmist. i gave her meds AND lots of fruit juice. and we bundled her up (since it was raining and really cold - the exact opposite of the weather for the past few days) and cuddled her a lot and reduced her bath fun time (this is the most difficult because S loooooooooves her bath time and tears abound every time we take her out). she did not get any fever in the afternoon, so we decided to give her a bath before bedtime (a really, really short one). i checked her temp before i went to bed, at 10PM and her temp was normal. i checked her again at 3 AM and her temp is 38.3 again. so i gave her meds and fed her and she went back to sleep.

my mom was all for bringing her to the doctor today but i said i will just be told to observe her and come back if she exhibits more worrisome symptoms. but she did not exhibit any scary symptoms like rashes, vomiting, loss of appetite and physical weakness. in fact, S eats the same and she plays a lot. the times she got fever where the times she was asleep but when she's awake, she's playing and laughing and chasing us (she can now walk on her own).

but you know, deep inside, i'm really scared. honestly. this is the first time that S got a fever but i'm trusting my motherly instincts on this. if she gets a fever again today until tomorrow dawn, then i will definitely bring her to the doctor tomorrow.

what about you mommies? how do you deal with fever in toddlers / kids?

Guest Mom on the Block: Nadine (April 2013)

for the month of april, help me welcome Nadine from the city of golden friendship, cagayan de oro city!!! i met nadine at the same breastfeeding peer counselors training (the same one where i met my Guest Mom for March, Ella), with her baby who was 5 months old then. nads is not easy to forget fellow during the training. she was a very active participant, to the point of agreeing to bare and be the model for the lactation massage demo. way to go Mommy Nads!

Nadine, or as i call her Nads, is mom to a charming 10-month old Rae. nads is the energy behind the mommy support group of cagayan de oro city, Mommy Bright Side. she is a stay at home mom with a little side business from time to time. she is a staunch advocate of exclusive breastfeeding, cloth diapering and babywearing. get to know more nadine and how she is working on putting brightness in the world of motherhood.

me: can you tell us a bit about yourself as a mom?
nadine: I'm a stay at home mom. I wouldn't call myself  fully an entrepreneur because my business is something i just pass my time with. I am a nurse. My work experience was at the operating room. I had Rae before applying for a job so I was never formally employed. I would consider being a mom and an advocate as my first real job. It doesn't pay me money but it compensates me with content and happiness. Being able to meet my baby's needs 24/7 and helping other mothers and babies make me fulfilled.

me: i believe this passion encouraged you to organize Mommy Bright Side. can you tell us the story behind it?
nadine: At first I never felt the need of having a support group. I didn't think people had a hard time breastfeeding. I thought people always preferred breastfeeding over formula feeding. It was for free and it was the best! Isn't that enough reason to work hard for it to work???

I first wanted to advocate baby wearing because I saw plenty of moms who don't practice correct and safe babywearing. I wanted a babywearing meet just like the ones they have in manila. So i wanted to look for experts from CDO. Alas, babywearing is quite novel so I  couldn't find one. So I messaged jenny ong of the chronicles of the nursing mom and asked if she knew anybody who could talk about babywearing. She referred me to Dr. Jessamine Sareno.

Dr. Jessa was very enthusiastic of my idea to have a babywearing meet but she also told me why not talk about breastfeeding too. The more I thought of the idea I asked my self why not? After that meet I felt God was really pushing me to organize one. Every time I met a mom at the bank line or at the grocery lane they would always tell me they didn't breastfeed because they didn't have milk. 

So I told my mommy friends about this. My friends and I became mommies together. We breastfeed, use cloth diapers and practiced babywearing. Then we thought yeah let's have a mommy meet and let's talk about breastfeeding, cloth diapering and babywearing. Let's make friends who can understand and support us. Let's share how having friends you can call on can make our lives better! We came up with mommy bright side. We said mommies can always look at the bright side when you have friends who you can call on to. you can be optimistic about motherhood. It isn't a life of crying, sleepless nights and expenses. Motherhood is beautiful! And having a baby is not stressful at all!

I am advocate because all these things should be shared. I feel so selfish if I would just keep all my knowledge to my self. I am a mother and a nurse. As a nurse whatever the education, whatever the experience a nurses responsibility is to promote optimum health. So I am doing just that. :)

the day that changed my whole being

my daughter turned 1 today. we celebrated with a party with our families and friends.

as for me, i celebrated secretly. i celebrated the day that changed my whole being. wow, it's been a year of motherhood, of being S's mom. and more years to come from it. and my heart just bursts with a lot of emotions that i never thought my heart could hold.

i am truly grateful to God for making me a mother. i cannot remember where i heard or read this but it made me cry: that a baby chooses their parents (how S did that, i don't know..S probably talked to God and told Him she picked me). and they choose their parents because they believe that they will learn best from them. thank you my darling S, for choosing me and your daddy. i (we) am honored beyond words. but i think, it's me who learned most from you.

i learned the beauty of pain when i went through labor for you. yes, it hurts like no other, but if you ask me, i would be more than willing to go through it all over again. because i know that in the end, i would be able to carry you in my arms. i was a bit disappointed with myself that i was not able to give birth to you naturally, but i would never forgive myself if something happened to you because you were experiencing fetal distress. from that moment, i (and your daddy too) realized that it is not about us anymore. it is about you - my little kicker. never mind the pain of my surgery (CS), all i wanted was to breastfeed you at that moment. i had to walk to the nursery from my room to see you and breastfeed you. never mind that i had to carry my catheter everytime. and when you got fever due to dehydration because of not being able to get enough milk from me, i had to give you the bottle and formula milk. it was truly heart-breaking for me not to be able to breastfeed you as much as i planned, but again, i cannot forgive myself if you got worse than fever due to hunger. i've learned that in my desire to be a good mother, i have forgotten to see your needs. and i've learned to let go of that desire. i decided to be a good mother - by listening to you and trusting my instincts.

and the joy you bring with that giggle. with that smile that lights up even the overworked me. i am filled with much joy in knowing that you are happy and well.

but my happiness is sometimes overcome with fears. what i fear most is, am i doing the right things with you? what if you don't learn anything from me? what if you get sick? i could still not get over my carelessness when you fell off the bed when you were just 7 months old. i cried myself to sleep that night. but you are strong, and again, my heart is filled with gratitude to God for keeping you safe. forgive me little S for the things that i do not know. but i will try my best to be the mommy that God has prepared me to be.

so happy birthday my little one. no one loves you more than i do. you will always be my little girl, and i will always be your mommy.

and, here's to more years of joy to me :)

- FriendS -