Eden Nature Park, August 2015 (Kai + Pao)

This is our first time to attend a "destination wedding" of some sorts, thanks (and again congratulations) to Kai and Pao for the very beautiful time and I told Y that we should do this often. No, not the wedding, but the short weekend vacation. Hahaha. And while this is also a very late post (August 2015), I just realized I postponed writing this because I did not want to "reveal" my pregnant state yet. Haha.

I'll let the photos tell the story...
With friends at the St. Michael's pretty chapel (Eden Nature Park) (Photo courtesy of Sir Bebot's FB page)
Confession: We excused ourselves from the ceremony when the rain stopped (finally!) because S kept bugging us to make her ride a horse which was the really exciting thing we kept telling her about this trip. Sorry Kai and Pao. Hehe. There goes our brave little girl :)
At the VERY PRETTY RECEPTION hall...I need to bug Yos to look for the photos I took of the reception area because I swear, it was the prettiest wedding reception I've seen..(Photo courtesy of Sir Bebot's FB page)
Hihihi...Like a little event coordinator. (Photo courtesy of Yan's FB page)

The next day, after breakfast, we took S around since we were set to go home before noon.
A little morning walk. S took this photo. I have a little photographer in the making too. S loves to take photos so we just let her tinker with our cameras.
At the Butterfly Sanctuary. S wanted to look at butterflies but was terrified when they tried to land on her...Hehe.
But finally...she allowed one. Hahaha.
The coolest thing: a butterfly fresh out of the cocoon!
I wish I have more photos but I am really lazy when it comes to taking photos. Some blogger I am, right? Anyway, we really had a great time and company, S's Ninang Net and Ninong Shid during our overnight stay. So, who's wedding bells will be ringing next? :)

Being a mom to my firstborn

Many nights ago, I got up to pee and when I got went back to bed and saw my daughter S sleeping tightly, I felt tears sting my eyes and eventually I had to hold back a sob. She used to be so tiny and I don't know, "babyish"...and now, she's a smart and very opinionated pre-school girl. And a few months from now, she is going to be an Ate (big sister). I've always thought of how Baby 2 will change our whole family dynamics and I want to start thinking about how it will be in my firstborn's world.

We decided to let S know about her coming sibling first - before anybody else. So far, she seemed joyful about it. To be truthful, she has been specifically asking for a baby brother, after she saw the newborn baby boy of our neighbor. At that time, I thought, "Oh wow. This will be a breeze." Well, well, well...Talk about "I spoke too soon."

S and I had rocky middle dealings - she with her school and I, on the other hand with my pregnancy. S got terribly sick and I was ordered to go on a bed rest. And S did not stop at being sick, she added some behavior that really baffled the heck out of us. The worst was, she would not stop crying (even while at school perhaps) - literally and was extremely clingy to me. Sleep time lang ang pahinga. Oh my dears, it was so painful to the ears and sickening to the head. There was simply no pacifying her. It was either she was afraid of something (rational and irrational) or did not like anything at all. I tell you, I started to think that my S was possessed. S was a very easy baby and toddler  - slept through the night at 2 months, learned baby signing when we taught her, a hearty eater and rarely threw tantrums. I was completely at loss on how my sweet and obedient S turned into a crying and whiny child. There was a lot of yelling, shouting and worst, I broke down into tears myself quite a few times because I was totally at lost on how to deal with it.

But there's a particular memory that I want to remember from all of it. One night, while I was cradling her to sleep (It was so difficult with the baby bump, back pains and all) and while she was whimpering, I could not help but cry myself. It was already lights out and I knew she could not see me crying. But she suddenly stopped crying and said, "Mommy, don't cry. Your eyes will get hurt." And she proceeded to wipe my eyes and kept repeating, "Stop crying na Mommy ha? I'm going to stop crying and I'm going to go to sleep now." And I cried some more silently because I reminded myself that this monster phase of hers is TEMPORARY. Somehow and somewhat - no matter how difficult it may be for me, I have to be MORE patient, understanding and loving. I need to go beyond 200% perhaps. Although it was the same thing the next day (sometimes a little tame, sometimes even worse) for both of us - she kept whining and crying and I lost my cool or kept my annoyance at bay, I kept that memory. I find this all a little sad to remember because I am awashed with guilt, shame and a lot of this-is-how-I-should-have-dealt-with-it.

We asked advise from Teacher C, her preschool teacher and suggested that S might be experiencing separation anxiety and I'm the primary cause of it. I was at first in doubt because S was well behaved during the 3 weeks orientation classes. Apparently, separation anxiety occurs at different time during school days. Some are anxious in the middle of the school year, some nearing the end. She advised that I stop bringing S to school and allow someone else to do it. By some miracle, it worked! Teacher C's words were heaven sent! And slowly, the happy S was back. She still has some quirks but they are manageable.

I don't know how S will be once the new baby comes. I have heard and read a lot of tips and suggestions but I know its either they will work or not and we have to somehow discover on our own what really works and is best for everyone. I'm trying to remember how was I when my brother arrived but I can't remember anything. I am always praying that God guide me on being a mom to my firstborn. Because I know I will be different - tired, cranky and highly emotional with all the recovery and needs of the new baby. In fact, I sense some sadness in S's eyes every time she asks me to be her student when she likes playing classroom since I can't really sit on her tiny chair. And it is heartbreaking for me too.

Our soon to be family of 4...
I know I'm not perfect but with God's grace, I learned to navigate through this parenting thing. Forgive my misses anak, but I celebrate my triumphs more than anything else. I know you will be a great Ate because you are caring and kind.

Random ramblings (20 weeks for Baby #2)

 So I posted this announcement over at Facebook a week ago and captioned it, The Big Reveal. I am actually laughing at myself for its....silliness. Seriously, a lot of friends already saw me (Ikaw ba naman mag attend ng weddings, parties and school activities all within 1 month) and I already blogged about it, so there is nothing really new in it. I was already thinking of announcing about my pregnancy after attending a beautiful wedding at Eden and I was looking through my photos and oh my goodness, I look so....darn ugly washed up! A pregnant woman is entitled to her own vanity, right?! Another wedding came, so I made sure I was all dolled-up and by some miracle the photo booth line was breezy, so there!

Anyway, I feel a little energized to talk about my pregnancy with this little dragon. I feel sad for him/her (Yep, gender is still unknown..I'm actually thinking of keeping it a secret but I have low EQ so scrap that!) because with my first pregnancy, I blogged about it a lot. And with my little dragon, there are A LOT of stories to tell, which I have not even taken time to write out.

//Even before I took my PT, I knew I was pregnant. 3 days of missed period, I was sure deep inside but I was trying to reason that maybe I was simply stressed because it was also the week I was preparing for a BIG meeting.

//With my dragon, I prefer to sleep than eat which is the exact opposite with S! After 5 months, I only gained 3.5 kilos which I think was mainly caused by my challenging 1st trimester but still, with this pregnancy, I can be very choosy with what I eat. During our wedding anniversary (around 13 weeks), Y and I celebrated with a lunch buffet and I mostly ate maki from the buffet table. And I completely ignored the dessert section which was really a first for me. My husband was actually shocked.

//I call my wee one "dragon" because I am simply hooked with the animated movie How to Train Your Dragon (1 and 2) during my 1st tri.

//I easily get annoyed and pissed off nowadays but I rarely cry. With S, I was always in a good mood but I cry at the drop of a hat.

//Current likes: On the Wings of Love mostly because of James Reid (one of my official na pinaglilihian..I know, so jeje! But I was a huge fan of Kim Chiu with S when in fact I really don't like her, so please don't judge me harshly. Haha!).

//Weird dislikes: White bread, Milo

//Weird food cravings: Anything with tomatoes-pasta, salad, salsa, ketchup...name it, I will gobble it; pork sinigang or anything sour for that matter, guava and raw mangoes with vinegar and salt as sawsawan and in season fruits. I am seriously salivating.

//I dress better now maybe because I know what to expect and that is to buy clothes that I can still wear 3 months post-partum. I looked like a drab in my first pregnancy because I still cannot accept how much clothes I had to let go. And another reason for my superb wardrobe is my friend Ianne, who sold me her pre-owned maternity clothes and well, I don't say no if its from a certified shopaholic. Haha.

//I experienced my first TVS and oh my golly, I disliked it. But that uncomfortable thing confirmed that my little one already has heartbeat at 9 weeks :) (I heard S's heartbeat at 11 weeks.)

//I felt the first kick at around 19 weeks.

I am determined to write more stories. Haha. Until the next post, dear readers :)

- FriendS -